Life's circle is really about time

Today I heard the song Cat's in the Cradle by Cat Stevens two times on the radio. I looked up the lyrics (posted below). Today I saw my Uncle in the hospital. He is terminal. Until last week we had no idea, now we are preparing for the inevitable. My Grandmother will be 80 this year. She never thought she'd live to bury her son. It's not right, it's not natural. It's unimaginable. My Grandfather is already in heaven. He's waiting for my uncle with outstretched arms and a big smile. I can see my uncle as a boy looking up to Grandpa and saying I'm going to be like you Dad. Later I watched my uncle take care of Granny when my Grandpa was no longer here to do it. Turns out that he was just like his Dad, and I couldn't be more proud of him.

This song is meant to remind people about how fast life goes by when you aren't paying attention. It's meant to get a person to think about slowing down and taking time with the people that matter. We go so quickly through life a day turns to a week and then all the sudden it's next year. We put off spending time until there isn't time left, and every time life reminds us of this we try to do better. Then quietly we slip right back into next week and next year.

Cats In The Cradle

A child arrived just the other day, came to the world in the usual way, But there were planes to catch and bills to pay, he learned to walk while I was away He was talking before I knew it and as he grew he said I'm going to be like you Dad, you know I'm going to be like you.

Chorus : And the cat's in the cradle, and the silver spoon, Little Boy Blue, and the Man in the Moon, When you coming home son, I don't know when We'll get together then, you know we'll have a good time then.

My son turned 10 just the other day, Said thanks for the ball now c'mon let's play Will you teach me to throw, I said not today, I've got a lot to do, he said that's ok And he walked away and he smiled and he said You know I'm going to be like you, Dad, you know I'm going to be like you.

He came from college just the other day, so much like a man I just had to say, I'm proud of you, won't you sit for a while He shook his head and said with a smile, What I'm feeling like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys See you later can I have them please.

I've long since retired and my son's moved away I called him up just the other day I'd like to see you, if you don't mind He said I'd love to Dad, if I could find the time You see my new job's a hassle and the kids have the flu But it's sure nice talking you Dad, it's been real nice talking to you. And as I hung up the phone it occured to me He'd grown up just like me, my boy was just like me

Sunday 5/17/09

So today I was thinking that it's difficult to tell who a person really wants to be when you're busy looking at who they are. It stands to reason that any of us would be working to change or improve things about ourselves. Some things are obvious like getting a new hair style or starting an exercise program, but the tough changes are the changes that happen within. They can't be seen by the naked eye because they occur subtly over time.

This week I'm going to focus on looking at the people I come in contact with and try to determine what great qualities they have. I'm going to try and point them out so that they can see them too.

I'm going to miss this some day

My Dad tells me all the time that I'm going to miss these days when the kids are little. I'm going to wish I had them back. He will tell me this after I've cleaned up messes they left behind, flushed a toilet that for some reason they will forget to flush, found gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe. So really, seriously, I'm going to miss this?

It occured to me that my Dad has an entirely different memory of my childhood than I do. It seems like he remembers the good things and not being knee deep in the problems/challenges of raising children. No parent ever says they want their worst day back, they don't ask to please re-live the embarassment, humiliation and frustration of parenting. They want the day back when their son brought in his first dandylion and proudly handed it to his Mom.

I envy my Dad the distance that he has to feel this way and oddly enough he envies me the place that I'm in right now.